Good days consist of:
Not being able to get sleep one night is something, but not being able to sleep at all for the past two-three weeks is actually extremely fucking tiring now. I can’t fucking do it. I know I’ll finally be able to get a good nights sleep when I know I’m not feeling like a fucking loner, or a piece of shit for not having a job and being out of the house, or fighting with my boyfriend, or my parents not hating me for things I want to do or things I can’t control. Everyone putting me down, even YOU. Matilda is actually the only real friend I know anymore. And I thank god that she is coming to Oceanside with me so that way I’m not alone, even though Oceanside sucks, but its my only option now. Once I get all moved in with my boyfriend, settled down, I can finally sleep, and when he decides to purpose <3 which apparently will be sometime this year cause apparently those were his plans for us. I love it. But I really hope he doesn’t go back on his word about it. I’m finally becoming an adult and THANK FUCKING GOD, I don’t have to do it alone. I got him<3 I’m so fucking happy for that.
Once I move to Rockland, things are gonna change and I’m going to be so much happier than what I am right now. And I just can’t wait to leave this terrible house, feelings, etc, behind. But I’m also happy that I get a Portland trip with my love tomorrow <3
I’m finally going to be free